Greetings all!  Right now, as I write this, it’s a little over a week into March, and I’m excitedly preparing this website for its official release on March 31st, 2012.  Having this website completed by then has become a huge motivator for me because March 31st is the anniversary date of my late wife’s death.  It will mark 8 years.  I can hardly believe it, 8 years.  It seems like a lifetime ago since I held her in my arms, and at the same time, there are moments when it seems like yesterday.

These kind of special days are scattered throughout the year (mothers day, her birthday, our wedding anniversary, etc.), and they are usually challenging ones.  I go into each of these days with the intention of celebrating her life, which would make it a happy occasion, but the challenge largely comes from the fact that I’m always fully aware of whatever occurred in the past on that particular day.  In this case, 8 years ago, marks the nightmare of the most horrible day I’ve ever lived.  Yet, I know for the good of myself, I feel much better if I seek out the hope in the day.  So I do my best at letting any pain from the past exist in my memory, and allowing it to step forward when it needs to — it’s a part of me and belongs in my life as much as anything — yet I also recognize that my present is where I am today, and that by honoring my past in as hopeful of a way as I can, I will continue to brighten my present and future.

One of my favorite things to do with my son on special days like this, is to buy a few of those foil/helium type balloons and write letters to Julie on them with an assortment of colorful permanent markers.  We then release the balloons into the air and watch them dance and slowly drift away.  There’s something magical about a balloon, especially one in the air, floating away, carrying an important message.  I always find the experience to be very soothing/satisfying, as does David.

I like to give my son some choice in how we celebrate days like this — they’re important and special days for him too — so I make sure to ask for his input on what he would like to do.  He’s always full of great ideas.  Kids are creative masterminds.  One year he asked me if we could print out little pictures of ourselves, to tape to the outside of the balloons…”so mommy would know what we look like now, and that we’re doing okay”.  We printed out a bunch of pictures and soon found that we had to limit our selection a little, and pick our absolute favorites, because we initially loaded up the outside of the balloons with so many pictures that they sank to the ground when we released them!  We lightened them up, and then they were able to fly again, as did our hearts.

So on anniversary days like the one coming up on March 31st, we’ll be sure to do something special.  Often little special things, but always meaningful special things.  Another idea David once had was to go to Mommy’s favorite Italian restaurant together.  We shared the most delicious meal.  Another year he asked if we could go to the world’s largest candy store together (located in a neighboring town).  We don’t typically eat a lot of candy, but it seemed as good of a day as any to enjoy some sweets.  And I’m sure Julie was out there somewhere, smiling while watching us…she Loved dark chocolate and gummy bears…and of all things, she liked the stale gummy bears best!  lol  Strange, I know!  Whenever we were at the store together purchasing a bag of gummy bears, we used to have to squeeze each unopened bag first, to select the bag that had the hardest/oldest feeling gummies!  Ha!  I’m smiling big while I’m writing this…what a fun memory!

So, well, over the years, we’ve come up with creative ways to make the best out of those lousy stinkin memorial days, and we usually get through them in one piece, often times, with some very treasured memories.  Oddly enough (because I’ve never ever said this before), I’m actually excited about this upcoming March 31st.  Real excited.  “I feel like a kid exited”.  Because this March 31st is going to be the birth of my book, the launch of this website.  This is thrilling to me because I can’t imagine a more fitting day to send my book out into the world.  And although this message is zipping along cable and phone lines at warp speed, I can’t help but picture it floating up into the air, like the balloon love letters that I write to Julie, and somehow finding its way to you.

Eric V

an invitation to you…
How do you like to celebrate anniversary days that are significant to you? 

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