www.HoneyIShrunkTheGrief.com
© 2012 Eric Vaiksnoras
“I get by with a little help from my friends.”
.~John Lennon (1940-1980)
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I’m not sure how I would have made it had it not been for the support of so many caring people. There seemed to always be someone standing by my side or reaching out to offer a hand. I consider myself to be a pretty tough and resilient guy, but in no way could I have made it through this on my own. I am forever grateful for the countless people who stepped forward to support my son and myself.
The help I received from my family was beyond extraordinary. Perhaps the most incredible part about this source of help was that it was given by people who were also painstakingly grieving the death of Julie. We were all broken and grieving in our own unique ways—and at times, all of our emotion worked against us—but more often than not, we found a way to lean on each other and hold each other up. The collective piece of heartache that made up us was such a beautiful thing in action. In the months and years that followed, the dynamics of our family has changed as a result of Julie’s absence, but one thing has not changed, and that’s the love we have for one another.
The help I received from friends, and many people I didn’t even know, was beyond anything I’ve ever experienced or could have imagined. It came from everywhere. Simply put: David and I were showered with love.
The 3rd-5th grade public elementary school that Julie taught at, Timmons Elementary School (TES), in Chagrin Falls, Ohio, was at the heart of this outreach. They created a memorial fund for us in Julie’s name at one of the local banks—a place where many individuals and families generously and anonymously donated money to help us. Fifth grade students at Timmons even raised money for us during their school lunch period, after a concerned student started a spare change collection by turning a coffee can into a coin bank. I will never forget all of the loving donations we received. They were very unexpected and helped us to make ends meet during that difficult time.
Financial support was not the only thing we received. The TES community worked together to create a beautiful memorial garden in a scenic and serene area of the school grounds. David and I have since spent many after school hours there—often times during holidays or special anniversaries. It has become a wonderful and peaceful place for us to connect to Julie.
Julie’s Memorial Garden
October 2004
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We also received large boxes filled with sympathy cards, handmade by hundreds of TES students. The pure and simple sentiments in those cards provided so much comfort and direction. Children have such a wonderful way with words; they are incredibly perceptive and are so often blessed with the ability to say exactly what’s on their mind.
I am devoting the remainder of this chapter to sharing a sample of these sympathy cards with you. I chose to focus on these tangible gifts because the support the young students offered in these cards mirrored so much of the support I received from everyone—some had upbeat offerings, others were filled with sadness and despair. Whatever form each message came in, they were all treasured gifts from the heart.
I would also like to share these cards because I have a deep desire to thank everyone who has accompanied us throughout this journey. I would like to wholeheartedly thank each person within the pages of this book, but I’ve struggled with the best way to go about doing this; the task feels so incredibly overwhelming. I’ve concluded that one of the best ways I can give back to those who have helped us, outside of simply being grateful, is to pass along the love we received to others.
With these thoughts in mind, I would now like to offer the love in these cards to You. I invite you, as you see fit, to allow the sentiments in the cards that follow to be directed towards you and any loved one that you may be grieving.
With love, from the 3rd-5th grade students . . ..
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Dear Baby,
David, your Mom was my favorite teacher yet. She always wore pretty clothes and really cool shoes. She also wore toe rings. She was so pretty and honest. I will always love her. I hope you like the cow.
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To: Vaiksnoras Family
I feel really bad about your loss. She was my Summer School teacher. David your Mom gave me penciels if we were good and I got 6. I wanted give Mr. Vaiksnoras and David family pencils.
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Dear Vaiksnoras faimly,
it’s ok Shes in a better Place now. Shes teaching 3rd grade angels now in a golden classroom with magical chalk. Shes hopefully haveing a good time in heaven. She prouldaly misses you very much Just remember she will always be there in your hearts
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I belive
If you do to
But if you don’t belive
What do we do?
You need to be strong
Don’t be blue
Do what she would
Want you to
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Dear Mrs. Vaiksnoras,
You were a nice loveing caring teacher that everyone has mett. We are all very sad that you are gone but we will always remember you. (My teacher) misses you very much. She wants you to be alive. It’s all a pattern we are born, go to school, get married, live a little longer and die. I know it is sad but life’s not easy to live through. Sorry Mrs. Vaiksnoras, you the best teacher anyone can have.
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Mrs. Vaiksnoras was a great teacher. Don’t remember the bad things. Just remember the good tims you had with her. It is ok to do some fun stuff still Just always remember her when ever your doing them. Don’t worry about her just remember her She will be safe upin heaven because god will take care of her.
She will be in our Prayers ♥
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football tennus soccer basketball baseball
David, you go little man! Shoot a hoop make a goal! Try your best even more! Never give up or u’ll be sad! Try your best and you’ll be glad!
GO David!
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Mrs. V was a good friend of mine. In two years I promise I will baby-sit your son free! When ever you like! for free!
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Dear Mr. Vaiksnoras and David,
I am veary sorry about what happened. I remember when I got my first “A” in Science. On the paper she put a smiley face. She helped me get an “A” by working really hard on getting me to understand. She never gave up on me. You cloud tell the look on her face She relly wanted me to understand. I will mess the way she tried her best teaching me. I always trusted her to help me on things I don’t understand. Im sorry you didn’t spend alot of time with her,David.
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Dear Mr. Vaiksnoras and David
I remember when I got my first A in Science and all my friends got Bs and Cs. Mrs. Vaiksnoras was so nice she never yelled at us. I’ll miss her teaching us.
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Dear MR. Vaiksnoras
Are Prayers are with you.
Dear David
Sorry you lost your
Mom But your Dad
will tak car of you.
And thats part of life
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I’m So Sorry. She was a nice loving and caring teacher.
Stand strong and don’t cry. She tried her best to stay alive! It’s not your fault at all. ♥
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